My history with learning is a long one. I was a great student in all stages of my formal education. I was very disciplined and very dedicated. Initially, I learned to get the results not only in my grades but also in gaining attention from my teachers, classmates, and parents. Later I realized my need was deeper than that.
I remember experiencing my first feeling of being loved. It started as a sad event in the third grade when my present for my teacher on the occasion of the 8th of March fell off the desk and broke into pieces. All my classmates went to her to cover her in flowers and gifts and I was crying with the small, broken porcelain statue in my hands. She asked me what happened, took the gift, and hugged me for it. I felt she really cared for me. Later that year, she invited the entire class to her home and she showed me a glued statue she could put together from those pieces.
As a child, I had a great need for love, so it fueled my learning habit almost endlessly.
Later in life, I understood that I was also learning to expand my world and to feel I belonged. The correlations were simple: the more I learned, the more moments to feel loved and the more I discovered the world, the higher the chances to find other curious, like-minded people.
This is how I made my first best friend as an adult after I had just turned twenty. Although we had met to celebrate New Year’s Eve with a group of friends, the conversations we had led to her writing me a poem instead of a goodbye message. It was the beginning of a great friendship with many deep conversations that supported us in growing together. We were passionate about similar topics, from literature and theater to economics and business. Now I came to see our relationship not only as a relationship of friendship, but as a relationship related to my identity. Thanks to her, I felt I could show my authentic self and I could become who I wanted to become without being afraid no one would ever understand me.
My learning journey happened both academically and in other informal ways through workshops, retreats, gatherings, sharing moments with my friends or other professionals, and different types of therapy. All of these led to multidimensional growth that adults I work with now are willing to experience as well. I realized that facilitating the learning process for others is an ongoing learning process for me. The reason why I feel so good in the role of the facilitator is that I see myself in their process. I can easily relate to their search for meaning and for more substance in life, both personal and professional.
This ongoing learning process influences me to enroll in programs to deepen my knowledge on certain topics like I did this year by attending the Women’s Leadership Development Program at Oxford University. I wanted to start a sharing group for women in different leadership roles and I realized I first needed to attend the best existing program on leadership for women before I facilitated one myself. Although it was challenging for me, I gained a lot of energy from learning new things. I was fascinated to read the optional materials and studies on the future of leadership and culture with its impact on women. The more I learned, the more I wanted to continue learning.
Other times, the way I learn is by inspiration from people I admire for their skills or behavior. It happened many times, even on the ski slopes, where I followed expert skiers to improve my skiing technique. It also happened with friends of mine that I admire for their patience or active listening skills. When I noticed their behavior, I asked them what they do intentionally and how I could develop or improve these behaviors even though they don’t come naturally to me. This habit made me look at people around me with a continuous attitude of admiration.
Another intention I started the year with alongside the one I shared last time is the intention to dedicate more time to my educational activities for professionals. Besides individual and group coaching, I facilitate mastermind groups and learning experiences on different topics. Most of the people I work with are outstanding professionals with great academic education willing to grow multidimensionally: personally, emotionally, and socially.
Although my intention started as a plan with a focus on other people–to facilitate more educational activities for adults–it was so insightful to realize that the real meaning of this intention is what it brings to me while facilitating activities for and with other people and what learning really means for me.
How do you usually learn?
What is a habit of yours that is connected to your core identity?