Hello dear friend,
Have you ever felt stuck despite having success?
This is a situation I have been through in my life a few times so far and I hear it more and more from my coaching clients.
Even before starting my professional life, I had built my notion of success based on what others appreciated: financial security, professional recognition, performance in a field, and access to exquisite opportunities. Since I was 20 years old, I worked hard to build and grow a retail business, get accepted to a very good business school, and get a job at a top tech company in London. Achieving these goals successfully did not bring the expected fulfillment. On the contrary, I lacked purpose and vitality and felt drained.
It happens the same for many professionals I work with as a coach. After consistent hard work to achieve what they consider successful careers, most professionals get stuck. There are feelings of emptiness, lack of joy, and lack of purpose that don’t give them peace.
Is this really it?
Is this how success should feel like?
Am I doing something wrong?
These are only a few questions they are often asking themselves.
While many professionals ask themselves these questions, it’s only the brave ones who start to speak about their inner struggles with their partners, friends, mentors, or coaches. The other ones try to fix the feeling of emptiness with more work and higher goals to give them a better sense of purpose.
I hear a lot of stories from the first category and I find it important to share some aspects of my work, as it might bring more clarity for those having experienced similar moments.
Why isn’t success fulfilling all the times?
Success is often viewed as an external achievement, measured by societal standards, such as career accomplishments, financial gain, status, or recognition. It is frequently defined by meeting specific goals or milestones that are visible to others. Hence, it is easier to design a notion of success especially inspired by other examples and it’s clearer to work towards achieving it.
Fulfillment, on the other hand, is an internal sense of satisfaction and contentment. It is deeply connected to personal values, purpose, and meaning in life. Fulfillment comes from knowing that you are living in alignment with your mission and what matters most to you. Designing a fulfilling life and career requires more time for introspection, more inner work, more uncomfortable questions asked, and fewer models of paths that can be replicated.
Clarifying what could bring a sense of fulfillment means most of the time slowing down the working pace, something that brings hard times to high-achieving professionals who strongly identify themselves with their work.
In these cases, there are a few things I do and I recommend:
- To plan a recurring slot in the calendar for introspection and exploring what fulfilling means in more aspects of life. There are instruments available online, like the Wheel of Life that address this approach;
- To plan another recurring slot to share the process with a buddy (colleague or friend), a mentor, or a coach;
- To dive deep into life design concepts like designing a life based on personal values, adapting it as needs and desires evolve, and redefining success beyond conventional milestones.
- To set goals based on the aspects discovered. After introspection, action brings the most clarity.
What is life and career design?
At its core, life and career design is about living and working with intention. Rather than letting circumstances or societal expectations dictate your path, you actively decide what you want your life and career to look like. It emphasizes a holistic approach to life and career, encouraging you to take control of your path rather than following pre-set, conventional trajectories.
Unlike traditional career planning, which often focuses solely on professional advancement, life and career design see life and career as intertwined. The goal is to find a balance between the two. In terms of career, pursue work that aligns with your skills, interests, and values. Regarding life, make time for personal development, relationships, health, hobbies, and other aspects of life that contribute to your overall well-being.
It’s about designing a life where both personal fulfillment and professional achievement can coexist harmoniously, rather than sacrificing one for the other.
Adaptability: designing is a work in progress.
Life and career design recognizes that life is dynamic, where your goals, needs, and interests evolve over time. It’s not about creating a rigid life plan but rather designing one that can adapt to changes in personal circumstances, career shifts, or interests and values.
This flexibility allows you to navigate transitions, whether it’s a career pivot, starting a family, or pursuing a new passion, without feeling locked into one predetermined path.
Designing life and career is an experiment.
An essential part of life and career design is exploration and experimentation. It encourages trying new things, reflecting on the results, and iterating your choices based on what you learn. This might include prototyping career paths, like trying out different roles, industries, or projects before committing to a major career change; life experiments, like testing new ways of living and a growth mindset to be open to learning and evolving as you gain new insights about yourself and the world around you.
What questions to ask in a process of life and career design?
Life and career design is a lifelong process, but it is easy to start and integrate it into our lives with questions like the following:
- What are my core values?
- What principles or beliefs guide my decisions and actions?
- What non-negotiables do I need to honor in my career and personal life?
- What makes me feel most fulfilled or energized?
- How do I define success in my own terms, not based on societal or external expectations?
- If money were no object, what would I spend my time doing?
- Are there any specific dreams, goals, or aspirations that I’ve been ignoring or postponing?
- Am I devoting enough time to the things that matter most like family, hobbies, health, and relationships?
The process of life and career design involves deep introspection, questioning your current path, and identifying what truly matters to you. By asking these reflective questions, you start gaining clarity on your values, passions, strengths, and the lifestyle you want to live, helping you create a more intentional personal and professional life.
On top of these, life and career design promotes lifelong growth, prevents burnout, and increases fulfillment.
I would love to hear if you ever felt similarly and what helped you.