Hello, dear friend,
It has been a while since my last newsletter as my first break from writing happened sooner than I envisioned. Funny enough, the article I was planning to send was about discipline and continuously moving on as one of my values and strengths.
I had a strong inner conflict about whether I should send a newsletter only to respect the frequency of my emails or wait for a few weeks to feel better and more aligned with a state of sharing. I could have pushed myself as I had a text ready for this kind of situation. Instead, I chose to wait and let it flow at the right moment.
So, thinking about the lessons of this pause, I realized that the behavior I want to create a precedent for is to dare to share challenging moments as well. And this was one of those for me.
As I wrote before, I have a close relationship with planning. I have an Excel file for each month where I plan different aspects of my life. They range from business activities and managing my savings to personal hobbies and trips. Every month, I focus on three to four primary points, but I never neglect any important areas in my life.
Firstly, I write the activities I plan to do for one section, then I put them in my calendar. At the end of the month, I assess the progress for each of them and decide how to proceed for the following month. This method helps me envision where my energy and time goes over a month and how much I can plan for the next one. For example, when I travel more, there are fewer days for office meetings and dinners. This means that I have more to recover when I am back. In a nutshell, I am happy about and proud of my planning skills.
Planning has brought many benefits into my life, and I could not do so many interesting activities without planning thoroughly. But, there is a saying by John Lennon that “life happens when you are busy making other plans.” This means that when I have booked events days or weeks in advance, some unexpected invitations come and the inner conflict starts.
Should I stay focused on my plan or cancel it and follow the spontaneity? Most of the time, when the plan includes other people, I follow the plan because I don’t want to affect someone else with my change of mind. But I also learned to leave some unplanned slots in my calendar. At least one evening a week, I don’t plan anything in advance. At least one day a week, I leave half a day unplanned. At least one weekend a month, I make no plans in advance. This allows me to better embrace what the moment brings.
What happened during these last few weeks were two things that taught me a big lesson about the way I plan. First of all, when I am over enthusiastic, I plan too much by believing that my level of energy will always be high. This is how I enrolled for two online courses in February, both very serious and including several assignments simply because one evening I felt both of them were equally important and interesting. They were not in my initial plan for February, but I followed my excitement and I added them on top of my other commitments. I thought, how can I grow if I don’t push myself? But my planned breaks were not enough for the amount of work my eagerness for learning has unexpectedly brought me.
Another thing that happened was something that majorly impacted me emotionally. This was the kind of event that made me stop my activities, take longer breaks, and cancel my plans. It affected the quality of my sleep and my overall level of energy. It not only took over a significant part of my calendar, but the rest of the day I could focus only on fire fighting and base needs both for me and my business. I had no time for creation, for growth, or for nonurgent activities. As a result, my immune system declined and my health became very fragile. As a person who plans for 12 hours or more in a day, I could only be active for a few hours a day at a reduced pace.
During these kinds of moments, instead of being happy for and proud of my planning skills, I felt under pressure. One of my strengths became one of the reasons for added stress. It became a weakness. I felt no joy in doing some of the activities I had planned with my highest excitement, as my needs had changed completely. I felt powerless and fragile. I pushed myself to finish the readings for the courses I had searched for with so much curiosity. Many things can be interesting with a high level of energy and good health. In the opposite conditions, only a few things are crucial enough to get my attention.
I am doing better now and my intention is to stop giving attention and energy to this event and switch it to recovery and lessons learnt. Although, I am almost as good as weeks ago when I zealously planned too much, my planning joy is not back to that level. I am afraid (or glad) that it will not be there soon. I had the courage to move meetings that I was waiting for to happen, but I did not have the energy to attend, nor the time to properly prepare for them. I said no to invitations that I would have otherwise happily accepted. I felt uncomfortable, but I knew it was the right thing for me.
No, I will not stop planning all the integral aspects in my life. I will only make some changes so that future Alexandra will not be overwhelmed: plan more empty slots in my calendar, avoid making commitments when I am over enthusiastic, and allow myself time to recover.
How is your relationship with planning and over-planning?
Photo Credits: Ionuț Iordache